Maybe you've been way too inspired by what and who's not really great, and now maybe you're just way too proud and confused to see what's Good. Yes, it's my fault; if only I had stayed "good", I'd have made it the way you all like it: easy. I'm sorry, but the easy answer didn't make it easier for me. It looked more like setting myself "free" to look for something else: your coveted to (the) death distraction. It's "justification" you call it, isn't it?
You are so reverent of man...
Can't you call it what it really is, glorious fools?